Be Relentless

Each time I go inward lately, I've had this nagging (in the best way) inner voice. About three or four times in the last week or so, I re-visited some of the past ten years. Thus, after a lot of rest and thought, I woke up at 3 am this morning, and this finally happened...my decade reflection...

When this decade began, I was living in Newton, engaged to be married, and had just started my 300-hour teacher training journey.
In the next few years, I would get married and move across the country to California, only to move back across about a year later to Maryland.
Eventually, after time, I landed back where I was supposed to be in Massachusetts.
I thought that the whirlwind had ended, but it had just started.
I had made some wrong turns along the way and ended up in a dark place where I was scared.
There were days that I asked the universe to swallow me up and help me fade away.
But it wouldn't let me.
Through a series of more turns, this time toward the light, an escape route opened, and I got to travel the world for a year.
Healing started, but I knew it would take a long time. My soul was worn so incredibly thin; I was sure it had broken.
I found my way back to things I loved, community, service, writing, laughter (oh my goodness the importance of laughter!!), and running. My mat and my practice had always been my guiding light.
When this decade began, I had never lived anywhere else besides New York and Massachusetts. I've now lived in four states.
When this decade began, I did not have an understanding of diversity and culture. In this decade I learned the importance and amazingness of difference.
When this decade began, my heart had never broken; I had it smashed into one million tiny pieces - a few times.
When this decade began, I had never really understood the importance of kindness and empathy to others. Now I demand it - both giving and receiving.
When this decade began, I didn't see my value as much as I see it now.
When this decade started, I hadn't learned the importance of staying humble. Now, I never take a single thing for granted, and if there is a moment when I do, I course correct so much quicker than I ever had.
When this decade began, I did not appreciate the human ability to dig deep within when you thought you could not go a single step further. I’ve learned to keep going, no feeling is final.
When this decade began, yoga was a physical practice; now, it is a way of life that I live by each day. I practice.
When this decade began, I hadn't run a marathon in 10 years. In this decade, I ran three. I see my strength in every step.
In the last 10 years, the evolution of my life has been so transformative that I cannot always find the girl that I was in 2010 when I look for her. I'm the same, but different.
Listen, I know that there are onlookers that state "drama" or "get it together" or "too much." Sure, I could let it stop me, but I would never.
Do you want to know what I say?
Relentless determination.
Maybe as you read this, you're exhausted and tired. Perhaps as you read this, you are just coming through, and you're finally picking your head up to look around. In either case, my point for this writing is to let you know, you are never alone.
I feel all the feelings when I look back on the last decade of my life. I'm quite sure I will have hard times in my life again, and I know for sure I will have an abundance of happiness too.
I know no matter what, I will never settle for just good enough, not with my life.
No way.
So far as we know, this is IT. We get one shot to craft and mold this lifetime into the shape that we want it to be.
Just keep going.